Sally Kohn Says too Many Americans Live in ‘Bubbles’

The GW alumna talked about her book “The Opposite of Hate” in a discussion at JMA sponsored by GW and Politics and Prose.

April 19, 2018

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GW alumna and CNN commentator Sally Kohn says people need to "acknowledge the hate in us." (William Atkins/GW Today)

By T. Kevin Walker

Writer and political commentator Sally Kohn says hate festers because most Americans live in bubbles surrounded by people who look, think and believe as they do.

“Fifty-three percent of Americans don’t know a Muslim person,” she said. “Most Hillary voters don’t know a Trump voter. Three-quarters of whites don’t have a black friend. It makes it easier to unconsciously replicate that history of hate that has left its thumbprint on all of our minds.”

Ms. Kohn was speaking Wednesday night during an appearance at the George Washington University’s Jack Morton Auditorium to promote her new book, “The Opposite of Hate.” The event was the most recent collaboration between GW and Politics and Prose, a popular independent bookstore in D.C.

For nearly an hour, former CNN chief political correspondent Candy Crowley engaged Ms. Kohn, B.A. ’98, in a Q & A about the book, which explores the psychology of hate through a wide range of interviews ranging from political diehards on the left and right to victims and perpetrators of the Rwandan genocide.

Though she acknowledges that the current political climate makes the book relevant, Ms. Kohn said the impetus for writing it came several years ago when she was hired as the “lefty lesbian” contributor at Fox News. Ms. Kohn said she braced herself to receive the worst possible treatment.  

“I expected everyone—on air, off air, the people watching at home—to be totally, completely 100 percent hateful monsters,” she said.

Ms. Kohn said her fears did not pan out, and she enjoyed great interpersonal relationships with Fox employees, even though their politics differed. She also realized that her preconceived notions were a form of hate that was constantly being reinforced in the liberal bubble in which she lives.

“We tend to have a ‘they started it’ philosophy of hate — that they were hateful first, and therefore I am justified (to hate),” said Ms. Kohn, who is now a regular CNN commentator.

Ms. Kohn said in many ways her book was a self-exploration exercise. It includes an interview with a woman Ms. Kohn bullied in grade school, and since the book’s recent release, Ms. Kohn has been accused by Aminatou Sow, a U.S.-based businesswoman, writer and digital strategist, of misrepresenting Ms. Sow’s words in an explosive quote in the book that some say reinforces the stereotype of the “angry black woman.”

Ms. Crowley opened their dialogue by asking about Ms. Sow’s criticism, which had ignited a Twitter debate about white privilege and white liberal feminism. Ms. Kohn said Ms. Sow’s quote is accurate and that she received consent from Ms. Sow to use it, but she regrets that she failed to realize how such a quote could be perceived.

“As a white woman, I did not see how it could play into racial stereotypes. I can talk about intent as much as I want, but the issue is impact,” she said.

The impact of hate, according to Ms. Kohn, has created systemic biases that are woven into American “institutions, policies, norms and culture.”

“In our country, we have a history in our past and habits in our present of demeaning and dehumanizing certain people and certain groups of people because of their ideas or their identity,” she said. “That is a reality in our country.”

Ms. Kohn says “The Opposite of Hate” is not about a destination, but about a journey. Still, she offers solutions to tamping down hostility and finding common ground.

“We only start to solve hate at a conscious and subconscious level when we open ourselves up and acknowledge the hate in us and take responsibility for doing better,” she said. “I try every day to not be the excuse for somebody to be their worst self and to be an inspiration for someone else to be their best self.”

And if it must fall to one side of the political spectrum to take the high road and begin the process, Ms. Kohn suggests it should be the left.

“I’m a progressive because I believe in progress. I believe in change. I believe in equal dignity, equal opportunity and the humanity of all people,” she said. “So the question is can I actually practice that even with people who deny my humanity?”