Mary DeRaedt remembers seeing photos of the American University campus in Kabul, Afghanistan (AUAF), before the Taliban took over. “It really was beautiful,” DeRaedt said.
She is a clinical assistant professor of counseling and human development at George Washington University’s Graduate School of Education and Human Development and has worked internationally in trauma recovery. DeRaedt provides mental health resources for women in Afghanistan.
She said once the Taliban gained control in the country, all students were forced off campus.
It’s one of the many things that's been taken away in the three years since the fall of Kabul. With their rise to power, the Taliban issued a slew of laws that have essentially erased women from public life in Afghanistan. “These women are essentially trapped in their homes, unable to leave,” DeRaedt said. “They’ve lived through years of trauma and honestly, the fall of Kabul was the breaking point.”
The Taliban’s laws have stripped women of their basic freedoms, with rules enacted that dictate almost every aspect of their lives—down to what they can wear. Women must cover their faces in public and cannot leave their homes unless a male guardian is accompanying them. Education for girls beyond the sixth grade has also been banned.
Almost overnight, the futures many women once dreamed of for themselves—and that many parents envisioned for their daughters—have been shattered. DeRaedt said for these women, the loss of their educational freedom and the growing restrictions on their daily lives have brought overwhelming grief, trauma and uncertainty.
She first heard accounts from Afghan students about their experiences when GW’s International Education Department hosted an event with Friends of the American University of Afghanistan in 2021. The nonprofit supports scientific and other educational activities conducted by academic institutions in Afghanistan.
At the event, graduates of AUAF shared their experiences, highlighting the Afghan student journey.
Recognizing the immense need for support, DeRaedt began hosting a weekly virtual group for Afghan women. In these sessions, she talks about mental health, the impact trauma can have and how to manage grief and loss. The women have a chance to ask her questions and share their experiences.
“I want to give them the tools to understand their emotions, to cope in a healthier way, because often they just white-knuckle it, pushing through without addressing the emotional toll,” DeRaedt said. “I’m hoping with the group, they’re learning how to cope in ways that won’t have long-term consequences, like disconnecting from their emotions, which can lead to long-term physical health problems.”
What has stood out the most to DeRaedt has been witnessing the resilience the women continue to show amid the unimaginable loss they’ve faced and harsh restrictions they’re forced to live through. At great risk to themselves, many of the women still seek out resources to learn, organize and advocate for themselves.
“There is that element of them feeling all that was taken from them, but what's amazing to me is they’re also one of the most resilient group of women I've ever met,” DeRaedt said. “They have a high level of self-efficacy so that when things were taken from them, they ask, ‘What can I do? How can I make meaning of this?’ Since losing access to AUAF, they’ve been looking for and finding other ways to learn, anything at all they can do.”
Seeking out community and sharing resources in this virtual group is one of many examples of these women’s defiance and resilience.
DeRaedt said issues surrounding mental health are not a topic many of these women have been able to discuss before. For many, the virtual sessions are the first time they’ve had the space to reflect on the heavy toll their experiences have taken on their health and well-being.
She described a moment in one of their sessions as they discussed the lasting impacts of trauma when one woman made the connection that the reason her heart begins racing when she hears loud noises is due to the tragedy of witnessing her neighbor’s home get destroyed in a bombing.
A lot of the women have described experiencing intense emotions without understanding where they are coming from.
Grief is a recurring theme in these sessions—grieving lost loved ones, the life they had before the Taliban's takeover and the future they once envisioned with opportunities for education and careers.
“We talk a lot about the grief process, around being trapped in their homes now and being unable to leave. Feeling so stuck,” DeRaedt said.
One woman shared she has a law degree and will never be able to become a lawyer. Women who have spent years training in specialized fields like medicine can no longer fulfill their dreams of helping others as doctors or nurses.
“It's hard for me to address a lot of it because I can’t work with all these women one-on-one,” DeRaedt said. “The need is far greater than what I can do but I hope when we do these sessions, even the women who are just listening are at least hearing my responses and it’s helpful.”
DeRaedt’s goal is to expand resources to better meet the great need for support that still exists.
One of many ideas she’s hoping to implement includes launching a peer-support program where people in the United States can connect with women in Afghanistan through regular check-ins, information sharing and just being a point of contact.
“Afghan women feel like the rest of the world has abandoned them,” DeRaedt said. “It’s important for the women to know that the people of the U.S. care about them and want them to have an education. When women are educated, it can break cycles of radicalization, even for men. Educated mothers can influence their sons, emotionally and positively, which is crucial in interrupting cycles of extremism.”
The virtual group has also grown to be a source of community for the women as they’ve forged friendships and shown one another support in the search for resources or offered a sympathetic ear as they discuss the difficulties of life.
“I want these women to realize they’re not alone,” DeRaedt said. “These women deserve a community, a voice and the opportunity to heal and move forward. My wish is that this provides them with a reason to keep hoping.”
If you want to help support educational opportunities for women in Afghanistan or volunteer your time, you can contact [email protected] for more information.
