We do a lot of talking but not enough listening. And if we did listen to one another, with curiosity, grace and respect, what would we learn?
Those thoughts inspired “America Listens,” a speaker series where individuals from different walks of life are given a chance to pause and reflect on the values that matter most to them. Then, they share those values, perspectives and personal, vulnerable stories with an audience that remains completely silent.
The project was hosted by the Trachtenberg School of Public Policy and Public Administration in partnership with Boise State University’s Institute for Advancing American Values, as an expansion of its Idaho Listens initiative. The mission behind the project is to encourage a model for understanding, particularly in polarized times.
The event was held at the ballroom in GW’s University Student Center. As the audience members found their seats at the round tables, they were given one rule: no talking.
Andrew Finstuen, executive director of the Institute for Advancing American Values, emphasized the importance of what he called “reverent listening,” a phrase he took from Greg Carr, an Idaho philanthropist who envisioned and helped sponsor the speaker series.
“Where in public life do, we just sit and listen and not immediately move to our counterpoint or our response?” Finstuen said. “So, we are to be respectful, gracious and curious as we listen, as a matter of kindness and generosity to a fellow human being. That was Carr’s vision.”
Throughout the evening, 12 speakers stepped to the stage and gave their honest responses to the question: “What do you value and why? How do you put that value into practice in your life? In your political, economic, educational or social positions?”
As the speakers took the microphone, they were not introduced. No information about what they did for work or where they were from was formally given to the audience. Instead, one by one, they spoke about their hopes, concerns and experiences. They opened up about the values that guided them and the moments that shaped them.
“When I was first asked to speak at America Listens, I thought it was called America Speaks. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized how fitting that mistake was,” said Tess Collins, a New York City bar owner who was the first speaker at the event.
She explained that we are good at speaking, but we don't always listen and understand each other.
What Collins values most is community. Her whole life has been about bringing people together.
She became an AIDS activist in the 80s because of her belief that people deserve compassion, not judgment. She later opened a bar in Albany, N.Y., and saw it as a community center. Artists, musicians, social workers, people in recovery, blue-collar workers and people facing all kinds of struggles became part of the same community. And started helping one another.
After a fire destroyed the bar, she helped bring that same spirit to another place, again bringing people from widely different backgrounds together. Lawyers, judges, police officers, artists, bikers and business owners began getting to know one another. Otherwise, they might never have discovered how much they had in common.
“People can surprise you when you do give them that chance. And the thing about values is, sometimes you have the same values, but just different wardrobes,” Collins said.
Others also spoke about the enduring values that shape their lives and the discipline, practice and sacrifice required to live according to the values they hold.
They spoke about the continual effort to become better versions of themselves. And they reflected on moments that had tested or changed their understanding of those values.
One speaker shared an account of living a life shaped by what others expected before finding the courage to break that mold and discover a sense of self on her own terms. Another reflected on regrets and the belief that the world needs more compassion. Someone spoke about the failed response to Hurricane Katrina, when thousands of families were left in crisis, and the experiences that shaped a life of service and compassion. Others shared stories of growing up with seemingly conflicting identities and the process of figuring out how their faith, identity and political beliefs can co-exist.
Each speaker offered an honest glimpse into the experiences, struggles and values that had shaped them.
As the audience listened in silence, some wiped away tears and nodded. When the final speaker left the stage, the room erupted in applause.
As a family-style dinner was served, friends and strangers sat down to discuss all they had heard that night. As bowls of potatoes and green beans were passed around, people who had spent the evening sitting silently beside one another began introducing themselves and sharing their own stories.
Many said they were surprised by how much they had related to the speakers and by how much the different speakers and stories had in common.
The idea that Americans, regardless of their backgrounds or differences, have more in common than they may realize was one that Kathy Newcomer, director of the Trachtenberg School of Public Policy and Public Administration, hoped would come through during the event.
“This is an opportunity to bring people together from a variety of backgrounds from all across the country,” Newcomer said. “This is in line with our school's mission to enhance democratic governance through developing leaders who will serve the public. One of the things that’s very important to us is to help develop empathetic listening skills among our students.”
Paul Wahlbeck, dean of the Columbian College of Arts and Sciences, shared similar sentiments.
“As a university, one of our key priorities is being a convening power here in the nation's capital,” Wahlbeck said. “We are right here in Washington, D.C., in a great location to bring people together, to talk about the important issues that consume our time and attention as a nation.”